Paranoia ? ... Whats that?

1. *hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
2. *gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
3. *HEART IS BEATING FAST*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
4. *A COP WALKS BY*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
5. *taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
6. *gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
7. *TRIPPING OVER SOMETHING*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
8. *PERIOD IS LATE*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary
9. *Having a headache*: Great now I have to deal with this tumor.